Wednesday, July 19, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1755



















Günther Gensler, German

Shia LaBeouf in "Lincoln," 1840

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1754























Elisabeth Alida Haanen, Dutch

"My Pickled Herring Brings All the Boys to the Yard," 1840

Oil on panel

Monday, July 17, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1753
















Eugène Delacroix, French

"I Wish You Guys Had Told Me You Were Hungry.  I've Had These Protein Bars On Me the Whole Time," 1840

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1752























Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres, French

Raphael, Forced To Admit To Himself That Jeanine's Visits Were Becoming a Distraction, 1840

Oil on canvas

Friday, July 14, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1751























Carl Heinrich Bloch, Danish

"Great Moments in Phallic Portraiture" (Page 147), 1874

Oil on copper

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1750























Jacques-Laurent Agasse, Swiss

Guy Waiting For Giraffe To Puke Up the Pocket Watch He Dropped, 1827

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1749























Vicente López y Portaña, Spanish

Spanish Captain Mateo Casado, Winner of the 1838 Mr. Sarcastic Smirk Pageant, 1839

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1748























Jacques Guillaume Lucien Amans, French

President Andrew Jackson, Shortly After the Invention of the Blow Dryer, 1840

Oil on canvas

Sunday, July 9, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1747














Henri Félix Emmanuel Philippoteaux, French (after Louis Carrogis Carmontelle, French)

1st Annual House of Lords Best Butt Contest, 1839

Oil on canvas

Thursday, July 6, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1746

















Martinus Rorbye, Danish

Rare Photo of the Early Use of Waterfowl as a Means of Hypnosis, 1839

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1745

















Eduard Ihlée, German

When You Go To Meet Your Boyfriend's Parents, and They Turn Out To Be in Some Religious Cult, 1839

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1744


















Jozsef Molnar, Hungarian

Moses Now Thinking Maybe He Should've Listened to Siri and Stayed on the Highway, 1850

Oil on canvas

Monday, July 3, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1743























Jean Leon Gerome Ferris, American

"This Is Good, Tom.  But Just To Be Safe, I Think Only Congress Should Have the Power To Declare a Twitter War," 1819

Oil on canvas

Sunday, July 2, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1742













Giovanni Tognolli, Italian

"Oh, Great.  This Is Just the Kind of Thing That Could Make Me Lose Custody Again," 1839

Oil on canvas

Thursday, June 29, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1741















Jean-Charles-Joseph Rémond, French

"Kidding!  I Was Just Faking It, Cain!   You're Not Mad, Are You?  Cain!  Come Back!," 1838

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1740


















Charles Lock Eastlake, English

Jesus Realizing He Must Have Accidentally Triple-Booked His Babysitting Gigs, 1839

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1739














Julius Hübner, German

"Dude, the Name of Our A Cappella Group Is "The Three Mustaches."  What the Hell Were You Thinking?," 1839

Oil on canvas

Monday, June 26, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1738














August Carl Vilhelm Thomsen, Danish

When You're in Charge of the Fox Hunt and Realize You Forgot to Bring the Fox, 1839

Oil on canvas

Sunday, June 25, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1737























Joseph Karl Stieler, German

The Priceless Look on Keith's Face When Someone Shouted "Bigfoot!," 1839

Oil on canvas

Thursday, June 22, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1736























Artist Unknown, Lower Bavarian

Jesus Making a Sale at His Medical Marijuana Dispensary, 1838

Fresco

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1735

















Franz Xaver Winterhalter, German

Portrait of a Woman Breastfeeding While Everyone Else Desperately Tries To Look Busy, 1837

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1734















Julius Schnorr von Carolsfeld, German

Butter Sculpture of the House of Habsburg, 1838

Oil on canvas

Monday, June 19, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1733


















Adriaan Wulffaert, Dutch

"Have Fun Tonight Honey, But Remember the Rule:  No Sex Tape Until the Third Date," 1838

Oil on panel

Sunday, June 18, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1732























Anna Borrel, French

"Wait.  Before You Say Anything -- I'm Sorry I Had Your Footman Executed, But I Warned Him to Stop Calling Me 'Conehead,'" 1837

Oil on canvas

Thursday, June 15, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1731



















Ferdinand Bol, Dutch

"Happy Father's Day!  I Know You Wanted One of Those Echo Personal Assistants, But This Was the Closest Thing They Had," 1646

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1730























Constantin Hansen, Danish

The Amazing Dmitri, X-Rated Ventriloquist, 1845

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1729




















Marcos Chillitupa Chávez, Peruvian

Opening Titles of the Classic 1470s Sitcom, "The Incan Bunch," 18th century

Oil on panel

Monday, June 12, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1728


















Jan Hendrik van Grootvelt, Dutch

"I Strongly Recommend You Get That Hand Off My Shoulder Before I Go All Wonder Woman on Your A**," 1837

Oil on panel

Sunday, June 11, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1727
















Constantin Hansen, Danish

"Heads Up!  Spider!," 1878

Oil on canvas

Thursday, June 8, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1726


















Benjamin Heinrich Orth, German

19th Century Folk Rock Supergroup Crosby, Stills & Neckbeard, 1835

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1725
















Friedrich Wilhelm Moritz, Swiss

"Excuse Me -- This Is Probably a Longshot, But Is There a Chase ATM Around Here?," 1831

Watercolor

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1724



















François Joseph Heim, French

"Wait, Everybody.  Without Uniforms, This Is Way Too Confusing.  We're Going To Have To Do Shirts Vs. Skins," 1834

Oil on canvas

Monday, June 5, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1723























Louis Hersent, French

France's Queen Maria Amalia and Sons, Moments Before the Tragic Meteor Strike, 1835

Oil on canvas

Sunday, June 4, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1722






















Herbert James Draper, British

"Luckily He's Perfectly Fine, But I Can't Believe Amazon Didn't Send This In Bubble Wrap," 1900

Oil on canvas

Thursday, June 1, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1721

















Carl Oesterley, German

"I Can't Believe All Three of Us Wore Brown and Blue.  Guys, Do Me a Favor and Text Me Before You Get Dressed Tomorrow," 1833

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1720















Robert T. Barrett, American

"Covfefe.  C-O-V-F-I... No, Wait... C-O-V-E-F-... 

I'm Sorry.  Can You Please Use It in an Unintelligible Partial Tweet?," 1949

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1719























Adolf Schmidt, German

Woman Trying to Remember What the Heck She Did With Her Hemorrhoid Pillow, 1834

Oil on canvas

Monday, May 29, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1718






















Carl Julius Milde, German

Pastor Johann Rautenberg and Family, the Day Their WiFi Went Down, 1833

Watercolor on paper

Thursday, May 25, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1717





















Michele de Napoli, Italian

"Sir, We've Confiscated All the Enemy's Gold, Their Horses, and Their Weapons, But Unfortunately This Is All They Had in the Way of Toilet Paper.  Can You Hold It Until We Get Back to Rome?," Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1716























Anthony VanArsdale, American

Pope Francis, Politely Waiting For Trump To Finish His Tweet Before Shaking His Hand, 2013

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1715
















Ludwig August Most, Polish

That Time Grandma Lost Her Train of Thought in the Middle of a Story and We All Just Sat There For Like 10 Minutes, 1845

Oil on canvas

Monday, May 22, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1714




















Ludwig August Most, Polish

"So I'm Halfway Through Building It When I Realize It's Missing Parts.  That's the Last Time I Buy a Wagon Wheel From IKEA," 1830

Oil on canvas

Sunday, May 21, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1713























Ludwig August Most, Polish

When "Creepy Ed" Showed Up With Flowers for the Fifth Day in a Row, Sheila Realized She Should Probably Start Looking at Second-Story Apartments, 1850

Oil on canvas

Thursday, May 18, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1712






















Gerard ter Borch, Dutch

"Great Moments in Phallic Portraiture" (page 251), 1673

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1711











John William Waterhouse, British

"Ohhh, I Get It, Odysseus.  You're Into the Whole "50 Shades" Bondage Thing.  We Can Work With That, Right Girls?," 1891

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1710


















Joseph Bergler the Younger, Austrian

"Sorry to Interrupt, Sir, But Your Dad's on the Phone.  Something About Not Being Able To Find the Remote For the Pearly Gates," 1822

Oil on canvas

Monday, May 15, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1709















Arthur Perigal the Elder, English

Prom Photo Taken With World's Longest Selfie Stick, 1828

Oil on canvas

Sunday, May 14, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1708























Louis-Léopold Boilly, French

"I'm Warning You, Travis.  Interrupt the Story Again and I'm Going to Shove This Shawl Where the Sun Don't Shine," 1824

Oil on canvas

Thursday, May 11, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1707























Anna Kirstine Ancher, Danish

The Artist's Mother, Working On Her "I'm Not Angry, Just Disappointed" Face, 1913

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1706























Eugénie Servières, French

"No Lancelot, I Can Not 'Score You a Couple Condoms.'  But the CVS in South Camelot Is Open 24 Hours," Before 1855

Oil on canvas